Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
