it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
