Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
