so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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