so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
