To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
