If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
