Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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