the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
