oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
