Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
