Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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