There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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