i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
