Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
