I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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