i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
tell me about the eggs
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
