Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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