How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
