You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
