Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
