he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
