That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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