using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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