chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
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