Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
