if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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