Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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