If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
