so explain again why im purple
no
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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