whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Boobs speak an international language.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
