Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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