She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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