Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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