We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
