We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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