Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have post one night stand depression
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