It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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