2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
