Whod you bang
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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