so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
