There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
