put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
