New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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