splinters make it hard to masturbate
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
