Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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