Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
