she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
