wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
