It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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