sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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